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The Uninvited Guest

from Only Two Can Play by Doug Murphy/Paul Hamilton

/
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    Named after a Peter Sellers comedy film, this is Doug & Paul from Bisonics making a 9-song album in two afternoons, housed in a deliberately-misleading industrial-looking digipak design by Stephanie Johnson. (Cat.no. BITE7.)

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lyrics

THE UNINVITED GUEST

When I walk in the park I stop photosynthesis
When I talk all you think is 'Halitosis'
The modern day Samuel Johnsons rip me out their diaries
And the professional wasters book themselves into The Priory.

The good times find the clock has stopped the second I arrive
The pro-life lobby's popularity takes a nose-dive
My threadbare yarns are ripe for cloth-ears' unpicking
And pacifists line up to give me a royal kicking.

I'm the flapping fly
Vomiting in your caviar
I make Alcoholics Anonymous
Make a bee-line for the bar

Razor-sharp witlings
Quickly cut their throats
Even the most stoic waiters
Hurry for their coats

Go to all points North, South, East and West
In the wide world party I'm the uninvited guest.

I pose for an artist and he tears out his eyes
The Worst Dressed Man hands me his treasured prize
The bent went straight and ladies turn lesbian
The internet goes dead whenever I log in.

I'm the flapping fly
Vomiting in your caviar
I make Alcoholics Anonymous
Make a bee-line for the bar

Go to all points North, South, East and West
In the wide world party I'm the uninvited guest.

credits

from Only Two Can Play, released July 4, 2011

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