CAR​-​TOONS!

by Doug Murphy + Paul Hamilton

/
1.
2.
02:28
3.

about

Putting the 'fester' into 'festivities', this is our jolly Christmas proffering to blast as Mum cries over the cremated turkey in the kitchen, Dad snores his paper-hatted head off to the Queen's speech, a sherry-merry Nan shows off her winter bloomers and the kids bury their heads in their phones.

credits

released December 3, 2016

Doug Murphy: electric bass, acoustic and electric guitars, keyboards, mandolin, silver and strings arrangements (‘Money In The Hat’)
Paul Hamilton: vocals, percussion, BITS

Mostly recorded in Norway in April 2016 with Doug at the mixing desk. Final bits and bobs added here and there, where and when.

Mastered by Si Beex
Artwork drawn by Halal Mop Unit and coloured in by Dave Pope (age 54½)
All songs written and produced by Hamilton & Murphy

BYTE17
© Smoking Ant Records, 2016

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

smokingantrecords London, UK

contact / help

Contact smokingantrecords

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Sharkey's Machine
SHARKEY’S MACHINE

Fuck you, Edith Piaf
I got regrets by the score
Like the time I dropped my drawers
For that one jaw-dropping whore.
She forgot to torch the evidence
And didn’t delete the files
Now her old man’s on my tail
And he’s eating up the miles.

Bitch is hitched to an ass-hat
Psympleton Psycho Pseth
So dense he makes his own gravity
Says the capitol of France is F.
She’s hotter than Satan’s butt-plug
And dirty and obscene
I came like Niagara
In Sharkey’s machine.

CHORUS #1:
Sharkey’s machine, Sharkey’s machine
Give me the car keys to Sharkey’s machine
Between me and freedom is a cavernous ravine
Give me hope and a bag of dope and Sharkey’s machine.

Making something out of nothing
A kiss ain’t just a kiss
Must a lifetime of pain cost me
One sinful night of bliss?
Heavenly free love
Comes at a hell of a price
Maybe ‘Go fuck yourself’
Is practical advice.

He’s got muscles on his muscles
Has Psympleton Psycho Pseth
He’s the meanest recidivist
Who ever punched out breath.
Get a sick note from my mama
And tell it to the marines
Get behind a wig
In Sharkey’s machine.

CHORUS #2:
Sharkey’s machine, Sharkey’s machine
Give me the car keys to Sharkey’s machine
Lady Luck’s kicked me in the nuts and they’re wedged up my spleen
But I’m singing soprano in Sharkey’s machine.

Sharkey’s machine, Sharkey’s machine
Give me the car keys to Sharkey’s machine
Lady Luck kicked me in the nuts and they’re wedged up my spleen
But I got cash in the bank, gas in the tank and Sharkey’s machine.
Track Name: Eli Skanko
ELI SKANKO

Eli Skanko!

Whose house is on fire?
Whose children are all gone?
Who grand parades the promenades
With a pink pomeranian?

Says a pig’s tail is twirly
But for his foes it’s too late
If they’re not singing in Hell they’re ringing the bell
Of St. Peter’s gate.

Who knows the combinations
So there’s no safe safe in town?
Who knows your fetish, turns your brain to lettuce
Your red letter day to brown?

Eli Skanko!

Who will take your left leg
And throw you down the stairs
And twist your mind to think he’s kind
As he’s chopping up your chairs?

Who sees nothing in beauty
Beauty in nothing, too?
Ambiguity, for him, can only mean one thing
A shoe is a shoe is a shoe.

And with a crooked shilling
Who lives in crooked style
With sword-boots frightening, who kicks lightning
With a crooked smile?

Eli Skanko!
Eli Skanko!
Track Name: Money In The Hat
PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT

I’ve a wife, an ex-wife,
A mistress and a brat
SHUT YOUR TRAP
PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT
I’m down to the Tuscany villa
The country pile and Chelsea flat
SHUT YOUR TRAP
PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT

Pranged the yacht in the harbour
While docking at Cap Ferrat
SHUT YOUR TRAP
PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT
From Glastonbury to Glyndebourne
One’s always where it’s at
SHUT YOUR TRAP
PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT

PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT
PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT
DO YOU THINK I LIKE DOING THIS
YOU COSY, DOZY PRAT?
I’M DOWN ON MY UPPERS
CAN’T BUY A CUPPA, THAT’S A FACT
SO WHIP OUT YOUR WALLET
AND PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT

I played squash with David Gilmour
And he kindly signed my Strat
SHUT YOUR TRAP
PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT
In the Royal Enclosure at Ascot
The corgi got a pat
SHUT YOUR TRAP
PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT

PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT
PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT
ARE YOU DEAF AS A POST
OR BLIND AS A BAT?
THERE’S A LITTLE GREEN-EYED IDOL
BUT NO-ONE CARES FOR THAT
FOR THE GOOD OF MY HEALTH, SHARE YOUR WEALTH
AND PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT

Sorry, I don’t carry cash
Accept PayPal? Oh drat!
SHUT YOUR TRAP
PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT
Could I have a receipt
So I can claim it back on VAT?
SHUT YOUR TRAP
PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT

PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT
PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT
ARE YOU DEAF AS A POST
OR BLIND AS A BAT?
THERE’S A LITTLE GREEN-EYED IDOL
BUT NO-ONE CARES FOR THAT
FOR THE GOOD OF MY HEALTH, SHARE YOUR WEALTH
AND PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT

PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT
PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT
DO YOU THINK I LIKE DOING THIS
YOU COSY, DOZY PRAT?
I’M DOWN ON MY UPPERS
CAN’T BUY A CUPPA, THAT’S A FACT
SO WHIP OUT YOUR WALLET
AND PUT THE MONEY IN THE HAT