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A Man For All Treasons

from Only Two Can Play by Doug Murphy/Paul Hamilton

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    Named after a Peter Sellers comedy film, this is Doug & Paul from Bisonics making a 9-song album in two afternoons, housed in a deliberately-misleading industrial-looking digipak design by Stephanie Johnson. (Cat.no. BITE7.)

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about

An OCD love song.

lyrics

A MAN FOR ALL TREASONS

If I can avoid every crack in the pavement
And understand what the poems of Verlaine meant
If I can make five anagrams out of Alice B. Toklas
If I can keep my white shirt crease-free and spotless
Then she will appear to me topless
Then my situation won't be hopeless
Then she will fall in love with me
But that day will never be -

Unless I see a green car with an L reg plate
Recite the alphabet backwards with no hesitate-
Shun the unknown paper seller shouting "Wotcha, mate!"
If I keep my hands in my pockets when I open the gate
Then she will appear, not a second too late
And I'll be spared a life worse than fate
Cos she will fall in love with me
But that day will never be -

Until I count every railing on Coronation Road
Recite Derek & Clive's duologue about the Barking Toad
If I know how many times a piece of paper can fold
If I know how penicillin is derived from mould
Then she will offer her hand to hold
I'll be her action man, she'll be my doll
Then she will fall in love with me
But that day will never be -

Because I didn't catch the first leaf falling from that tree
I didn't brush up on rudimentary geometry
I never translated War & Peace into Swahili
I forgot the name of the hit song by Peters & Lee
I put my left sock on first instead of my right
I didn't charge my phone overnight
I failed to recognise the flags of all nations
I didn't take my hat off in the underground station
And that is why she
Will never fall in love with me

credits

from Only Two Can Play, released July 4, 2011
Doug - acoustic, electric rhythm & lead, and bass guitars, backing vocal.
Paul - drums, handclaps, lead and backing vocals.

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