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1. |
Bank Of Mum And Dad
03:51
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The Bank, Bank, Bank, Bank, Bank, Baaaank of Mum and Dad!
Jeer, jeer, jeer at us ancient coupon clippers
Sneer, sneer, sneer at us unlucky lucky-dippers
We’re crossword puzzlers, tea guzzlers, sherry sippers
Doorstop sandwich!
Gout bandage!
But when your laughing leaflets are all spent, boy
And your future’s blue ’cos you ain’t got a red cent, boy
There’s no need to go bent for the rent, boy
In a rut?
It’s a short cut
To the Bank of Mum & Dad
When you’re potless in Islamabad
The Bank of Mum & Dad
When you thought you were having it large but find you’ve been had
The Bank of Mum & Dad
When the world grows up around you and you’re left small
Swallow your pride, make that call
To the Bank of Mum & Dad
The Bank, The Bank, The Bank, The Bank, The Bank of Mum and Dad!
Life is a football and you’ve got to head it
Yellow brick road paved with gold; you’ve got to tread it
Flash your cash cards with unlimited credit
But when they’re cut
Doors are shut
A gentleman’s handshake falls off at the wrist
The country club doorman says you’re not on the list
And the red carpet rolls up in a blue mist
No bunce to burn?
About-turn
To the Bank of Mum & Dad
Odds bodkins! Egad!
The Bank of Mum & Dad
When your have-it-largesse makes you large-S’d Sad
The Bank of Mum & Dad
Mock us for serenading our falcon with a spinet and flute
But you’ll be singing our little number when you’re out of loot
All the way!!
To the Bank of Mum & Dad
The Bank of Mum & Dad
The Bank of Mum & Dad
The Bank of Mum & Dad
Always open!
The Bank of Mum & Dad
24/7!
The Bank of Mum & Dad
No VAT!
The Bank of Mum & Dad
Interest-free!
The Bank of Mum & Dad
Don’t declare it!
The Bank of Mum & Dad
Don’t you share it!
The Bank of Mum & Dad
Easy terms!
The Bank of Mum & Dad
Cos you’re from the firm!
The Bank of Mum & Dad
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2. |
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HUMPHREY GO-KART (I FORGOT)
Don’t ask me my date of birth
It’s such a long time ago
Don’t ask me my real name
Quite honestly, I just don’t know
Was it Cairo Fred, Vienna Tom
Or Twelve-Sombreros Joe?
But I do know that Laurel & Hardy’s first names
Were definitely Curly and Moe.
How did I get all that I’ve got?
Did I sire 90 kids and name them all Randolph Scott?
Did I scoop the 10 million quid lottery jackpot?
I forgot.
Don’t dig around for diaries
I don’t recall any being kept
Nope, I don’t remember the first time I laughed
Or the last time I wept.
Was I in the Top Ten charts for five years straight?
Was I slipped a million dollar bung?
And who was the dude I was handcuffed to for 30 years?
Ah, it’s on the tip of my tongue.
How did I get all that I’ve got?
Did I sire 90 kids and name them all Randolph Scott?
Did I scoop the 10 million quid lottery jackpot?
I forgot.
Don’t poke around for poetry
I don’t know to rhyme
I can’t recite a Shakespeare soliloquy
Or sing ‘Buddy, Can You Spare A Cent?’
Have I met any of my wives?
Do I know if water’s wet?
Does Quasimodo ring a bell?
Oh, I know this one! No, I forget…
Who won the World Cup in 1966?
What’s that old thing that can’t be taught new tricks?
Did I compile the International Who’s Who Of What’s What?
I forgot.
Did I find the meaning of life and then lose the plot?
Was I struck by lightning in a Vegas parking lot?
Gimme a clue - am I ice cold or getting hot?
I forgot.
Did Philip Barlow play Humphrey Go-Kart?
How much is an item found in a Poundshop?
What’s the name of the land where there’s a multitude of Scots?
I forgot.
Did I find the meaning of life and then lose the plot?
Was I struck by lightning in a Vegas parking lot?
Gimme a clue - am I ice cold or getting hot?
I forgot.
Who won the World Cup in 1966?
What’s that old thing that can’t be taught new tricks?
Did I compile the International Who’s Who Of What’s What?
I forgot.
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